Learning to Be Me Without You: A Story of Love, Loss, and Coming Home

Learning to Be Me Without You: A Story of Love, Loss, and Coming Home


When her husband of over forty years is diagnosed with a terminal disease with no cure or effective treatment, Paula Freeman journals her thoughts and fears. When they move from Colorado to North Carolina so Ray can breathe easier, Paula journals their adventures—and how she falls in love with a kinder, gentler Jesus. Learning to Be Me Without You: A Story of Love, Loss, and Coming Home is the book Paula wishes she could have read while going through her own grief journey.  


“. . . a gift of words, and it is a gift beyond words. Join Paula in the pages as she walks each of us along a sacred path: through grief, yes, but most importantly, to the God whose endless grace paves each step.” 

~Tricia Lott Williford, author of And Life Comes Back  

Learning to Be Me Without You is a love story about a diagnosis, one last adventure, a crisis of faith, and a transformed life. With stunning authenticity, Paula Freeman chronicles her journey into widowhood, the club no one wants to join. Yet in the journey, she discovers how God recovers life from loss. 

When doctors confirm that Paula’s husband of forty years has an uncurable lung disease, fear and grief overwhelm her, and she begins to journal. This memoir is a vulnerable and sometimes humorous account—in real time—of a terminal illness, a cross-country move, her husband’s untimely death, and an unscripted road to healing during a set-apart season by the sea. It’s a story of God’s faithfulness in the crucible of grief and what can happen when we say yes to his invitation to Follow me . . . I want to recover your life.  

This book offers gentle guidance and insight toward personal growth through grief and can also be used as a support group, widows’ ministry, or church group resource. 

Additional information

Weight .709 lbs
Dimensions 6 × 9 in
Book Format



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Meet the Publisher

I've been around Christian publishing since 1987 when I helped our ministry self-publish an important resource for Vietnam veterans and their families. That book went on to be picked up by a royalty publisher and has since sold over 250,000 copies with a million in print.

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Debut Compilation from Redemption Press